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Taking up Space

So many of us -- alas, most often women, it seems -- are taught from our earliest years to play small in order to "fit in". Not to be too loud, too assertive, too big, just not to take up too much space! It reminds me of that scene from Alice in Wonderland when Alice is searching for the gloves of that dang rabbit with the watch, and suddenly outgrows his house! Goodness!!

"Monster! Monster!" shouts the jittery rabbit, running to get help at the sight of this enormous girl. And that's how we can feel, isn't it? Like a monster, a fish out of water, like someone or something that doesn't belong. Still, as social work professor and public speaker Brene Brown points out in her book The Gifts of Imperfection, there is a difference between "fitting in" and truly belonging:

Fitting in has to do with the Mean Girls wearing pink on Wednesdays. Belonging is about knowing that you have a place in this world and that you are beloved just as you were created to be! Maybe it is just me, but I think we all could use a reminder of that belonging from time to time. Such as with this beloved poem by Hafiz, that begins:

Fear is the cheapest room in the house.

I would like to see you living

in better conditions.

So, for tonight, my glorious, expansive, beloved friends, rest your heads knowing that you are deeply seen and valued, and tomorrow morning go out there and take up all the space you need!

Yours in the vastness of possibilities



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